Maybe NOW She'll Understand

As I write this blog, 2 beautiful little girls are missing. Their names are Lyric and Elizabeth and they disappeared this past Friday from by Meyer's Lake in Evansdale. My heart aches for their families. This frightens me. Emma quite often goes on runs or walks by herself. She takes different routes which is a GOOD thing for the most part. I always tell her a specific time that she has to be back home but as many of you know, Em tends to lose track of time and forgets to call if she is going to be late. When I told Em about these 2 little girls I think it scared her. I'm glad it did. Maybe NOW she'll understand why I want her to check in and always, always have her cell phone with her. This just makes me want to NOT let her go out by herself but I can't do that. She needs to be a teenager and it's taken me a long time to let her do the things that other kids her age do. She wants to go to football games this fall at the dome with her friends, go to the mall, just generally hang out and I know in my heart she needs to do this but man oh man I am scared to let her go!! But I will. 


I know it's been a long time since I've blogged. So many things have happened since February, some good, some not so good. Think I'll stick to the good things!


We went to Portland, OR to visit Laura in early June. Allison got to go this time too. We left on June 3 and returned on June 18. The trip was beautiful. The mountains and ocean are breathtaking! I could easily live in the Northwest and be very, very happy there. Maybe someday...
We got to see Reptile Gardens on the way, as well as Bear Country, Wall Drug, Crazy Horse, Mount Rushmore, Old Faithful in Yellowstone, and Needles Highway. While in Portland we went to The Oregon Museum of Science and Industry where we spent the entire day trying to figure out scientific puzzles, playing Connect Four with a robot, learning about tornadoes, hurricanes, tsunami's, volcanoes, and earthquakes. We also toured a submarine. While in Portland we ate at so many different types of restaurants that I can't even remember them all! We shopped in the "hippie" district, went to Powell's New and Used Books, Voo Doo Doughnuts, spent an entire day at the ocean and watched the sunset there as well, and we also got to meet the guys from the group, The Dirty Words. Em was thrilled that they signed a bandana for her. They are all very nice guys. Allison and I even went to one of their shows. While there I acquired a taste for Kombucha. No, it is NOT alcoholic. It is what I call a cure all for what ails you. :) Seriously, it is very good! They don't sell the kind that I had in Portland here in Cedar Falls which is a bummer. The stuff here isn't as good. 


This blog post had gotten long enough. More next time. :)

Too Much of a Good Thing...

Yes, I know. It's been awhile. Just really didn't have anything to blog about. Life in the Meier household continues to be hectic. Nothing new there. :)

Laura was home for a week over Christmas break which was wonderful. There is always a lot of laughter when she's here. Emma misses her terribly and we can't wait to go see her in June. Big plans for the trip! This time we are going to allow 2 weeks for travel and fun. I plan on spending an entire day at the ocean as I have fallen in love with its beauty. And of course there will be another visit to Powell's Bookstore and VooDoo Donuts! Yummers! This time I want to spend a few hours in the Pearl District in the small shops and organic eateries. Emma would like to travel to Washington State as well to Forks. :)

Enough with the chit chat. On to Emma.

Emma. Hmm. Emma is Emma. She's wonderful, charismatic, crazy, smart, beautiful, stubborn, and oh so like her mother. If you've kept up with my sporadic blogging then you know that Em has ADHD and I have ADD. It can lead to many an argument over silly little things and wondering who is more stubborn. That being said I think she actually figured out today that I'm not as clueless as to how a teenager feels and thinks as she thought I was. Em has been really stressed out for the past few weeks. I tried to tell her it was because she was trying to do too much but since teenagers know everything she wouldn't listen to me. It was getting to the point where she wasn't herself anymore. She wasn't sleeping well, she was always tired, she couldn't concentrate, couldn't remember to show up for practices on time for the variety show and she just felt overwhelmed by everything. She thought she could do it all even though doing it all was making her physically sick to her stomach and causing headaches. She felt like she couldn't tell her friends and teachers NO that she just couldn't do this or that or help with this or that. Today she decided enough was enough. She took my advice and dropped out of the Variety Show. She actually tried to drop out over a week ago but the teachers called me and talked me into letting her stay in. Little did I know that she WANTED to drop out but didn't know how to tell them. Poor kid. I got an e-mail from one of the teachers today telling me that they thought she should quit which kind of made me angry because it was that same teacher that talked me into keeping her in it!! Of course I let her know that that is what I had told her and the other 2 teachers just a week ago. How can I tell my child not to let people talk or bully them into something when I let it happen to me.?! I knew dropping out of the show was the best thing for her but when I had 3 teachers all talking to me via a conference call when I was on a quick break at work I felt like I had no choice but to let them talk me into it. If I had it to do over again would I have given in?? No, I would have stuck to my guns and told them no, especially now that I know how stressed Em was feeling. She already goes to 2 dance classes on Monday nights, play practice on Sunday afternoons, Science Club on Weds. after school, CHAOS on Weds. nights, and she works 3 hours every Sunday in a church nursery. Add onto that Women's choir practice on Weds. mornings at 7:00 am and during part of her lunch time during the school day and Variety Show practice everyday after school, plus trying to keep up in her honors math class and it was just too darn much for her to handle. Em may consider her ADHD a gift of sorts but sometimes it "gets in the way." I am really proud of the fact that she finally realized that it's OK to let go of something to keep your sanity intact. Besides that, my sanity was suffering too. We are both feeling so much less stressed which will hopefully lead to a little less arguing in the mornings before work/school. Or maybe not. ;)

And on to the next story...

I just realized that it has been months since I have blogged. It's not that I have nothing to say, it's just that I didn't feel like blogging.

It's been a busy, busy few months. The most exciting thing that went on is that Mark, Emma and I took a trip to Portland, OR to visit Laura. She moved there at the end of July. On the way to Oregon we got to see Mount Rushmore, Crazy Horse, a little bit of the Black Hills, Yellowstone National Park and Old Faithful. Once in Portland we had to pack a lot into 3 days but we managed to do some of the things we wanted to do. We went to a HUGE bookstore that takes up an entire city block and is 4 stories tall. Em loved it! We spent hours there and came home with a ton of books. They sell used and new books so I was able to find some classics which I have been wanting to re-read. The Pearl & Grapes of Wrath are 2 of my favorite. We also stood in line for 45 minutes just to go to Voo Doo Doughnuts which was well worth the wait! It is open 24 hours a day and always busy. My favorite part was watching the sunset over the ocean. It took my breath away. I didn't want to leave! We were at the ocean area where the movie, "The Goonies", was filmed. COOL! We ate at a lot of fun and funky places too. A lot of organic foods which I loved. We bought a bracelet from a sidewalk artist (as I call them) who was very talented, kind and fun to watch. He seemed surprised that we were interested in watching him work and wanted to buy something from him.

While we were there we stayed with Laura and her roommates and their dog, Todd. Huge German Shepherd. Thanks goodness he liked us! He took to Em right away. He loved it whenever I'd go into his master's bedroom to do laundry and I'd scratch his belly.

Of course the best part of Portland was getting to spend time with Laura. I miss her terribly but Portland is a good fit for her. Her friends are really nice I think it was good for her to make a fresh start somewhere new. :)

On to another subject. I am redoing the inside of the house...painting, new furniture, tearing out carpets...you get the picture. Em's room is my project for tomorrow. I am scared to go in there! It is definitely her domain! I stated redoing it about 3 years ago and never got it finished but I am bound and determined to get it done!! She wants to have friends spend the night and right now it is impossible. I plan on getting the 2nd bunk form her bunk bed back from her broseph so there is room for guests again and so her sister has somewhere to sleep when she comes to visit over Christmas. Come on December! Hurry up and come so I can see Laura!

OH!!!! I bought a puppy! Her name is Riley and she is a little go getter! 4 pounds of energy and fun. She is 1/2 dachshund, 1/4 terrier, and 1/4 chihuahua. She is just what I need to make me laugh. She chases the cats we have all over the house but only in fun! She wrestles with our biggest cat, Shadow, a lot. He weighs about 20 pounds and is careful not to hurt her. When she was sick a few nights ago, he let her lay on him to rest. :)

Well, Em is now in 8th grade. She really likes all of her teachers even though a couple of them are pretty tough. She actually likes those 2 the best. Funny thing is, one of them has a reputation of being kind of gruff and a really hard teacher. He has been fantastic for her. They get along wonderfully and he is so kind and always willing to answer any questions she has and explain things that baffle her. From what Allison tells me, that is very unusual for him. Em got to know him last year when he was her study hall teacher and I think that helped. Conferences are next week so I am anxious to meet him.

Things haven't been all roses for the past few months. There have been some thorns along the way. Em is 13 and that should explain a lot of it. I know all kids are different and having to deal with her ADHD has stressed me out more than I like to admit. There are mornings when I go into work so stressed that I have to pray to God to help me make it through the day after an extremely rough morning with Em. She is a real sweetheart but stubborn as all get out--kind of like her mom. I never clashed this badly with my other 2 girls or at least not that I remember. I know that it takes about 20 minutes before her meds. kick in so I should just give her that time to be a little bit loud and disorganized but sometimes we just don't have that time. I told her that from now on she is in charge of getting herself up and making sure she is ready on time to leave because I am tired of fighting with her to get ready and keep focused. She wasn't too happy about it because she really doesn't hear her alarm when she sleeps on her good ear so I did agree to wake her up IF she sleeps through her alarm but I won't keep going in her room to make sure she's up. So far it has worked well for the most part but we've only tried it for the past few days. My alarm for her is letting the puppy jump on her and lick her face until she wakes up. :) Riley loves it but Em isn't too sure that waking up that way is that much fun. LOL. Depends on the day.

Oh goodness! This blog has gone on a bit too long. Guess I'll say--to be continued. :)

Thinking about growing up

I think it's about time that I blogged again. I've been thinking a lot today about when I was young and growing up with my 7 brothers and sisters on a farm near Gilbertville. I LOVED the farm. It was my salvation from everything that I wasn't comfortable with.

When I was 3 years old I fell off of the porch onto the cement and broke off my 2 front teeth. If that wasn't bad enough I had to have what was left of those 2 teeth pulled out by our dentist who for some reason didn't give me any anesthetic. I developed quite the lisp after that which I had until sometime in 2nd grade or so. I was terribly shy already and this made me more so. I never wanted to answer questions in school so the teachers thought I wasn't very bright. They sent me to a reading recovery teacher who was supposed to teach me to read. Imagine her surprise when I could read and comprehend perfectly. She continued to work with me anyway to boost my self-confidence. The lisp went away but when I actually started to offer answers in class the stuttering started. I was just so nervous that whenever I had to actually say more than one or two words I stuttered horribly. Needless to say, I wasn't exactly a social butterfly. I did manage to make some really good friends who didn't care about my faults and accepted me for who I was. (Thanks Karen. You were and are the best!) I didn't exactly love school but I was a pretty good student. I had to study my butt off for the good grades I got but I thought everyone did. Studying was difficult for me. I couldn't stay focused for very long on what I was supposed to be studying and often times would have to cram the night before for a huge test even though I'd try to study the material weeks in advance. Try doing that when your mind stays focused on one subject for about a minute and a half. Now, of course, I realize that I was struggling with ADD. I still do. I can't even sit and read for more than 10 or maybe 15 minutes at a time or I have to go back and re-read everything because my mind jumps from one thought to another to another even though I try not to let it.

High school wasn't half bad. I loved my teachers. They seemed to understand my struggle to succeed and the math teachers would often spend extra time trying to get my mind to comprehend what they were teaching me. English/Language Arts was super, super easy for me (not sentence structure but the creative writing and journalism part of it.) I thrived with the written word. It was my thing. I also loved being in plays and chorus. I never stuttered on stage. I was comfortable there. It wasn't me. I was the character I was playing. I was also quite a talented singer. I even sang solos quite often. I loved it.

Fast forward to radiology school. I was still quite shy which isn't exactly a good thing when you have to deal with doctors and patients everyday. I never had a problem with the patients. I really liked interacting with them. I always managed to make them feel at ease. I was also one of the best at putting in IV's and would quite often be asked to do the pediatric and geriatric patients. I never missed.

It took me awhile but I finally became comfortable interacting with 3 of the 4 radiologists I had to work with on a daily basis. One of them however made me SO nervous that I would stutter severely whenever I had to work with him. That kind of sucked. :)

I never quite fit in with my co-workers from the X-Ray department but I didn't really care because my main job was doing CT scans and the people in that department were awesome!

Fast forward to my life now. I know I skipped a lot of years but the stuttering eventually subsided for the most part except when I get really nervous and I found a job where I feel comfortable and needed. I am not the introvert I once was. Yes, I am still on the quiet side compared to a lot of people, but I LOVE my job and the kids I work with and my co-workers. I can be myself and not be judged because the kids kind of like my silliness and the fact that I treat them with respect and they know that I love them. I am also very, very good at what I do. I am not trying to brag. I am just stating a fact. People often tell me that it takes a special kind of person to do what I do. I don't know if this is true. I think it's the special kids at the school I work with who deserve the credit. They inspire me each and every day to do my best and be the best person I can be.

A Difficult Couple of Months

Once in awhile things just seem to spiral out of control. I think it all started when we had to let Pepper go. That was difficult. A few days after that I started to have ear problems again then Em got a stomach virus and ear infection again. She missed 2 days of school which is difficult for her because she panics when she can't get her school work done when it's due.
I ended up getting a tube put in my left ear which was supposed to help the pain and the hearing loss. Well, the pain is better most of the time but the hearing loss is actually worse.
Then Mom's health started to decline. I guess I knew this day was coming but nothing can prepare a person for losing someone they love so very dearly. I spent as much time as I could with her for the 3 weeks before she passed away. I took Em to school early just so I could be with Mom before I went to work each morning. I'd go to work and then pick Em up from school, get her to wherever she needed to be or get her settled working on her homework and then head back up to the nursing home to spend a few more hours with her each night. Sometimes I'd get home before 10:00 and sometimes it would be midnight or later. I just didn't want to leave her. The next day I'd do the same thing. Sometimes my kids would come with me if I didn't stay too late at night. I loved spending time with my mom. At the same time, I felt guilty for not being home with Em. I know she understands why I needed to be with my mom but she still felt a little bit lost and scared. The night Mom passed away was both a blessing and one of the most difficult nights in my life. I was so happy for her. She was finally going to be with my dad and would be pain free and whole again. But, at the same time, I knew that I would never see her again in this earthly life. It took forever for my heart to begin healing after losing my dad suddenly nearly 4 years ago. I hate having to go through this again. I miss my mom so much. She has been my best friend as well as my mom ever since I can remember. She was a gentle, loving, non-judgmental angel. She was my angel. I don't know how many people knew this but my mom loved angels. She passed that love along to me. She also passed along her passion for being a mom. She was THE BEST mom. If I am half the mom that she was then I'll be happy. Mom, I know that you and Dad are happy being together again. I just miss you both. Sending my love to heaven.

A Very Difficult Day

This morning was an especially difficult morning for the girls and me. We had to take our dog, Pepper, to the vet to have him put to sleep. We've had Pep for nearly 17 years. Besides the fact that he had become deaf in recent years, he also had doggie dementia. Up until the moment he left us he was still smiling at us and giving us lots of love. I know that when some dogs get old they get cranky and unfriendly. Not Pepper. He was still as loving and spirited as he was when he was a puppy. Everyone that ever knew him loved him. I kid you not. That was how special he was. He LOVED everyone! He even loved our cats. :) I am going to miss him laying at the foot of my bed at night and keeping me warm. Every once in awhile he'd sneak up and lay right by me if it was storming. He was my companion when I couldn't sleep at night. I would sometimes get frustrated when he would follow me all over the house and he did that all the time. I've tripped over him more than once when I didn't realize he was under-foot. I know that he followed me because he just wanted to be close to me. He was my little sweetheart. Good-bye buddy. I love you.

Sometimes it just gets to me.

The past 2 days have been a little difficult. Em's tic disorder has been very pronounced and nearly constant in the evenings. I try to get her to concentrate on other things or stay busy because sometimes that helps. It hasn't been helping. I feel like such a bad mom but it really, really grinds on my nerves some days and today is one of those days. I know that most of the time it is involuntary and can't be helped but I still scold her sometimes. I even told her that if she didn't try to control it tonight she had to go upstairs where I didn't have to hear it. Right now she is watching a movie which may or may not help a bit. It is very unpredictable. This happens a couple times a year and usually lasts about 2 weeks or so then it gets better again. I am just afraid that if the kids at school hear this high pitched squeaking, they'll make fun of her. I know her true friends won't. They know about it. Will her new friends understand why she makes these noises? I just don't know.

So far, so good. :)

Em has been in school for a week and a half now and she loves it! If you've read my previous posts you know how nervous I was about her going to Junior High. She hasn't made many new friends yet but she is reconnecting with some "old" ones and that makes me feel so happy for her. She is trying her best to make the kids that feel a little left out a part of things, at least at lunch. She invites them to sit with her and her friends at lunch and tries to include them in the conversations.

She has come to realize that Junior High comes with a lot less social time during the day and a lot more homework at night. :) She doesn't seem to mind though.

I've been seeing less and less of her on the weekends and I miss her being here but I am so glad that she has such nice friends to spend time with.

Before school started she told me that she didn't want to do any school sports. Just today she mentioned to me that she thinks she'd like to try basketball. :) I told her she'd have to be at practice at 6:30 in the morning but she didn't seem to mind. This poses a bit of a problem with the medication she takes for her ADHD. The pill she takes in the morning lasts for about 8 hours or so which means there is no way it will last the whole school day. Not good. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I think she'll have to wait to play basketball until next year when practices and games will be after school. She has also showed an interest in track and that is after school so that just might be it for this year. It may not be fair but sometimes life isn't fair and she realizes this.

More to come as the year goes on. :)

Nervous Momma

As the school year approaches, I get more nervous by the day. It just seems like everything is topsy-turvy and no one knows where they'll be or what's going on. I've never been anxious or felt quite so unsettled before. I've worked at River Hills for 6 years already so you would think I wouldn't feel this way. From what I have heard many of the rooms employees are going to be shuffled around this year. What I don't understand is why? If things are going well in a classroom and things run like clockwork why would anyone want to shake that up? Don't get me wrong. I'll go wherever I'm needed. That has always been my attitude. I just feel like where I belong is where I've been for the past 6 years. The other associate in the room last year isn't going to be able to come back because of personal reasons so hopefully I can stay put. I will miss her very, very much but her family comes first and I understand that. I just hope they let me stay where I've been so it won't put too much stress on the teacher I work with. We are supposed to be able to go room to room and know just what to do but that isn't realistic. Every room does things differently or in a different order so it can be difficult to adjust to things. I've done it before when I floated for awhile but it wasn't easy. Enough about me. I'll be fine no matter where I'm assigned. I think a lot of my stress is due to Em's moving on to junior high more than it is about my job so....

Em's turn. Talk about nervous! She'll be at Holmes Jr. High in about a week and a half. I talked to her about the fact that it will be a lot different than elementary school and that there will be a lot more kids. And lets face it, they won't all be nice kids. She's has had her share of other girls being nasty to her and so far she has managed to ignore it for the most part. I'm just worried that things will escalate this year because there are so many more kids and they are older and their hormones are pretty much starting to go crazy at this age. Go figure...

Classes. They will be a lot harder too. Em is a very intelligent girl. I think she'll do alright for the most part. Homework will be a challenge though. She had a little bit of trouble keeping up with it for awhile last year about mid-year. Things turned around though and she ended up with really awesome grades. I guess I'll just have to stay on her about it like I did last year. If she really wants to go to Yale or Princeton (she dreams big :)) then she'll have to continue to do as well as she has.

Fitting in. Here's a biggie. Em is definitely her own person. She isn't interested in athletics which is OK. She's a dancer and dancing IS a sport no matter what people say. I just kind of wish she'd give volleyball a try just for the fun of it. She plans on doing anything and everything they have which involves music or theatre but there isn't a lot offered at this level in her education. She thinks chess club sounds fun but I don't even know if they have one. I talked to her about joining a math club but she's not too sure about that.

I know she'll be fine. I have to believe she'll be fine. Right?

Some things they just don't tell you.

I've come to the conclusion that there are some things doctors neglect to tell you when your child is on meds. for ADHD. I've learned the hard way that when the dose is decreased or your child is taken off the meds. that the side affects are not so much fun.

Em has been on her regular dose of the extended release med. as usual with a supplemental smaller dose to be given as needed later in the day if she has a dance class or something else going on that night. Well, she has been taking the supplemental dose everyday for most of the summer due to her theatre class. Yesterday and the day before were the first time for 2 days in a row that she hasn't had that 2nd dose. Needless to say, last night was the night from hell. She was so out of control that she couldn't calm herself down. She was moody, shaky, impulsive beyond her normal impulsive self, and downright crazy. This happened one other time over a year ago when her doctor wanted to see what would happen if we took her off her meds. for awhile too. The same thing happened only it was about 3 times worse. Thank goodness I had some of her meds. left over. She was off of them for a total of 3 days and was having panic attacks and was completely out of control. She cried for hours and begged to go back on her meds. She almost became violent which is NOT Emma. With the doctors consent I started her back on them. At least this time it was only her supplemental med. that I had her stop taking.

Today she is nice and calm so I know the "withdrawal" phase is over. I hate having her on meds. I really do. But, I know that if she doesn't take them she feels overwhelmed and can't get things done. She can't concentrate on one thing for more than a few minutes and is constantly on the move.

I can't even imagine how it feels to have your mind so out of control that nothing makes sense and you can't stop yourself from moving, moving, moving. She's tried to describe it to me but there really aren't words to describe it.

Em's level of ADHD is very significant. Put it this way--there are yes and no questions that you have to mark off about your child when they are first diagnosed. I had to answer yes to all of them but one. Yup. That's my girl. Her doctor has only seen a few other kids with this degree of ADHD.

No one really knows why ADHD has so many levels or what even causes it. They do know that it runs in families.

Em is going to have quite a few challenges ahead of her for a lot of years yet. Will it get better? Maybe. Will she eventually be able to go off of her meds. when she is older? Possibly. One can only hope. At least she doesn't see it as a disability. She sees it as a gift. It makes her more creative and intuitive which is cool.

She starts a new school in a few weeks. I hope they are as attune to her needs as her elementary school was. They had a sound system for her severe hearing loss which Holmes doesn't have so hopefully they will provide one so she can continue to do well.

I hope she continues to have her "can do" attitude. I truly believe that is why she does so well and doesn't let anything stand in her way. :)

Friends

Emma really has great friends. Today she and her friend Ariella sold lemonade outside of Arie's house. What fun! With Em's siblings being quite a bit older than she is sometimes it is hard for her to relate to them so she needs the interaction with kids her own age. We've had fun hanging around and doing things together this summer but a mom is not a friend or a sibling. I can't do some of the things that someone more her age can do. I am hoping that once she is in junior high this fall that she will get involved in school groups or clubs. Do they have a chess club at Holmes? That was her idea. Maybe she could start one. That would be cool. I know she'll be in all the plays and vocal music things. She has her sport which is dance but isn't interested in the sports they have at school. That's OK. I wasn't exactly looking forward to going to volleyball games at 7:00 in the morning. :)

I just found out today that one of her best friends will be going to Price Lab/NU High in the fall and not Holmes. It made me really sad but Em seems OK with it. I guess she has known for over a week but forgot to tell me. Another one of her good friends is going to be home schooled for most of his classes but will be at Holmes for advanced math so Em will get to see him for a little while everyday.

That has got to be hard for her to think about. These 2 friends are such nice young people and are good for Em. Both of them seem to be pretty level headed and keep Em grounded. I think Em will be fine though. She is so happy go lucky that she makes friends easily and even the "bullies" seem to respond to her and soften up. At least the ones that are boys. It's the girl's that are tough as nails and think making fun of kids is cool that I am worried about. I won't name any names. That wouldn't be right. I know she still has a few friends that are going to Holmes. Hannah N. and Charly W. to name 2 of them. Oh! Tiffany and Billie Ann too. They are sweeties. Always smiling.

Of course there will be the typical junior high drama. I've been through it 3 times already and my older 3 survived so I know Em will too!

My baby is 12!

It's July and the rain just keeps on coming! That hasn't stopped the craziness that is the Meier home.

Emma turned 12 on July 1st. Yup. My baby is 12. Scares me to death! It also makes me feel really, really OLD. That makes my kids 27, 24, 19 1/2, and 12. OK. I guess I am old. :)

I got a Zune for Em for her birthday. That's like an IPOD for those of you who wonder what the heck a Zune is. She really wanted one badly yet she hasn't gotten around to putting any music on it yet. She has been pretty busy though with trying to outdo both her sister and me on my new Wii, practicing piano, getting her reading in every day, and going to play practice every afternoon and evening. OH! I forgot to mention that she is in James and the Giant Peach at the end of July through the Sturgis Youth Theatre. This is the 4th summer that she has done this but she has been going to acting camps since she was 3. LOVES IT!

Em has had her eye on a chess set at World's Window for over a year now. It is absolutely beautiful with a marble playing surface. Needless to say it is not cheap. Pretty much every penny she gets or earns has been put aside for this chess set. Yesterday I took all of the money she received for her birthday plus some she had saved and added the gift certificate that one of her sisters and her brother gave her for downtown Cedar Falls businesses and purchased that chess set. She thinks I put it on hold for her at the store. I'm saving it for just the perfect moment to give it to her. I think I'll milk the helpfulness around the house for just a wee bit longer. :)

Weather, weather, and more weather!

It is hard to believe that it is almost July already. What is sad about this is that I can count on one hand the nice days we've had since school let out for Em on June 10th. As most of you know I took the summer off to spend time with Em before she gets too old to want to spend time with me. :) We had a lot of plans made and most of them involved the outdoors. The weather has put a damper on most of our plans so far. We were supposed to pick a destination and walk there each day no matter how far it was. We've only been able to do that twice. I can't blame the weather for this everyday though. We've had appointments and Em had the Boost program last week. We did have a great day on my birthday though. We left in the morning and didn't get home until about 5:00 p.m. or so. We shopped, saw my mom, went out to eat, did some more shopping, went to Cup of Joe and then had a great supper made by Allison. That following Weds. was another beautiful day but I spent it baking pies for my sons birthday and some cookies for him to take to work. Now I get to blame it on the weather for the rest of the change of plans. So many nights have been spent staying up until 4:00 in the morning monitoring the severity of the storms and making sure all was clear before I could go to sleep. It looks like it may be another long night tonight as well. I could just go to sleep and let my phone wake me up but I've been this way ever since I can remember. When I was little I HATED storms. My dad finally got me to go outside with him for a very short time to look at the clouds. He always made us stay in our cellar and he reassured me that we were very safe because it was a cellar and was underground. I'm not afraid of them anymore and have been known to storm watch on more than one occasion. My kids hate that! At least Em does. Em's fear of storms didn't start until after the Parkersburg/New Hartford tornado from 2 years ago. I don't blame her. So many lives lost and the damage was unbelievable. Then of course the July storm we had last year was pretty bad too. We lost one of our trees in the backyard which surprisingly did very little damage to our property. It fell between everything it could have hit. It did take out part of our swing set though. If there is even a hint of bad weather she brings all of her things down to the living room and camps out. Of course that means I do too. I can only pray that tonight isn't as bad as it seems it might be by looking at the radar and the storms that are likely to hit us that are on their way down from Minnesota. I need to call my niece and tell her to keep that crappy weather up there! There is some good news to celebrate---if the forecasters are correct then we will have beautiful weather pretty much all next week which means Em and I can start having our daily adventures as long as she is back for play practice by 3:30. Her 12th birthday is on July 1st so I am extremely happy that the weather is supposed to be nice. YAY! Have a super week one and all!!!

If truth be told...

Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half. ~Author Unknown

(Just to warn you---this is not my typical blogging. It is kind of a letter to everyone that I care about.)

The above quote is one of my favorites. I wish more people would think about what is told to them and by whom before believing what they hear. Sometimes I think we should all live our lives as if we have the mindset of a child. They seem to know what is true and what is not and they also tend to be totally honest when they give an opinion. They don't hold grudges and they are always, always willing to forgive.

I have learned so much from the kids I work with and my own kids about listening to every side of a story and trying not to pass judgement because sometimes it is impossible to figure out just what the truth is. Sometimes when a person voices an opinion on something that is all it is...an opinion.

Someone I care about lost her husband today in a terrible accident. I know this isn't exactly related to my blog subject but then again it kind of is. What I want to tell everyone is that life is too short to hold grudges and let hurt or hate rule your heart. Most of the time what is perceived as the truth is only a half truth or not true at all.

Please, please hold your family close and just love them. God gave them to you for a reason. And I don't just mean your immediate family. I mean anyone that is related to you in any way, shape or form.

There is one thing more that I need to say. If I have hurt anyone in any way I am truly sorry. If you really, truly know me then you know I would never intentionally hurt anyone. That isn't me. I am not perfect and I say things without thinking about how they might be perceived. I'm only human...

Big Dreams and Moving On

It is hard to believe that in 2 more days Em will no longer be in elementary school. It is exciting but scary at the same time. (She is excited and I am scared.) I know every mom feels this way when their "baby" grows up but somehow it seems more difficult for me to let her go than it was when her brother and sisters were her age. Dan and Laura went to St. Pat's through 8th grade and Allison went there through 6th grade so I guess their moving on seemed like less of a drastic step. Dan also went on to Columbus instead of the public schools. Em transferred to Lincoln when she was in 3rd grade. Hmm. Kind of weird. We switched the girls over to the public schools each at a different grade level. It gave them so many more opportunities than Dan had. It also exposed them to more cultures and religions which I think is a really good thing.
Em had a dance recital this past weekend. She did a wonderful job especially during the ballet dance she was in. I went both Saturday night and Sunday afternoon so I could watch her dance twice. She was so poised and graceful during the ballet number. It brought tears to my eyes. She did pretty well in the jazz number she was in too but I think she is destined to be a ballerina. :) She's been in ballet since she was 5 and she gets better and better each year. She wants to go on to be a toe dancer eventually but she has to be older so her feet have a chance to grow to their full length before she starts. I'm going to talk to Ms. Jackie about putting her in an additional ballet class so she can get more time to practice. She would love to dance with the company (and she does do company ballet) but I don't think her schedule and homework demands once she starts at Holmes this fall will allow it. It is a dream of hers to continue on in dance and the performing arts all the way through college and beyond. I love her dreams. <3

Yawn!

Hello everyone! Isn't it absolutely beautiful out this evening? I love days like this. It was a bit too warm for my taste earlier but it is perfect right now!
I can't believe that I only have 7 more days of school left. Em has 10. As much as I love where I work I am SO ready for a break (thus the YAWN as my blog title.) :)
I've been debating whether to ask Em's ear doctor if he will put another set of tubes in her ears. I think this would make it set number 7. I know she's almost 12 but she has had 4 or 5 infections since something like September and she has another one. This time it is in both ears. She can't seem to get a break! Of course this means absolutely no swimming at all for the summer or for that matter maybe forever. She is deaf in her left ear and we don't want to take the chance of her going deaf in her right one as well which could happen if she continues to battle these infections.
On a lighter note, she is growing like a weed! I had to buy her a new pair of ballet shoes and a new pair of jazz shoes so her toes wouldn't be squashed for her dance recital on June 5th and 6th. I think she is going to be all legs. :)
Not much happening to blog about tonight so I will say adios for now. Did I spell that correctly Jessie?

The 3rd times a charm? Not so much. :)

As many of you know I have a son and 3 daughters. You'd think I'd be better at shopping than I am by now. Today the girls and I went bra shopping. Obviously I didn't have to help the older 2. It's been quite a few years since I've done the whole "first time having an actual bra" thing for one of my girls. A LOT has changed in 7 1/2 years. Not only are there bras in every color and design you can imagine, but the bra makers have decided to try and make the tween population into women way too soon. Some of the bras we looked at were seriously sleazy. I kid you not. Why on earth does an 11 year old (OK, I know she is almost 12) need under-wires, padding, or push up features in a bra? I think we had to go through 50 different bras before we found a couple that were actually kind of made for a preteen. Maybe we just went to the wrong store. Who knows? Thank goodness we were successful in our quest.
Next problem: Finding a pair or two of jean shorts that has an actual waist and isn't made for a girl who has no shape. Emma is small. That's a given. BUT, she does actually have a smaller waist than hips so she is shaped like a girl should be and not like a pole. The solution would seem to be to buy her the jean shorts that have adjustable waists. Not so fast. The size 10/12's fit her in length but even pulling the sides in 5 slots on each side doesn't do the trick. It just makes her look like a puffy butt. So, we have to find a store that sells slims with adjustable waists. Even then they are made for a girl who has no waist. At least we only have to pull them in a notch or two and she doesn't look puffy. So far I have only found 2 stores that sell slim sizes in jean shorts. They are Kohl's and Old Navy. Sometimes I can't even find them there. Hopefully one of these days the creators of jeans and shorts will realize that women and preteen girls that are actually shaped like most women and preteens are will decide to one again have jeans that fit us. We have waists!! I find it very hard to find jeans for myself too. So do my other girls. We have smaller waists and bigger hips. YAY FOR US!!! :)

What a busy week!

Em has had quite a busy week! Actually we have BOTH had quite a busy week. Em normally has ballet for 2 hours on Monday nights, piano on Tuesday's, modern/jazz on Weds. afternoons, then religious ed Wed. evenings. This week she added another piano practice on Wed. before she went to modern/jazz class, and a fun Wii session with her Aunt Janet on Thursday night. Between all of her scheduled things she was constantly practicing for either her try-out for the variety show that her school is putting on or her piano pieces that she has to perform next Sunday for a recital. Oh! And don't forget the homework that she has made sure to get done and turned in ever since she has decided that she is going to either Princeton or Yale someday. :) Yesterday after school and into the evening she spent time with the friend that I had gotten upset with for ditching her the day before. I know, I know. It was silly of me to get upset especially since Emma really didn't. She loves her friends. That's just who she is. Today when she finally decided to grace me with her presence she decided that she'd start the day out with wanting chocolate and ice cream for breakfast (which she did NOT get--she settled for cereal and o.j.) and then cleaned her room a bit. Not sure why she decided to clean but I am NOT complaining about that. Back downstairs to practice for her piano recital then trying to sort out puzzle pieces from several different puzzles that somehow got mixed together. I am really glad that she had her day planned out because I was still a bit under the weather. Shortly after noon she decided it was a day to go fishing and then to Hartman Reserve to walk the trails. Her dad could barely keep up with her on the trails. She likes to hike quite quickly. After they got home she watched an episode or two of MacGyver then took her dad to see the movie, "Robin Hood", at College Square Theatres. That is where she is at right now. I'm really not sure why I decided to blog about her day. I think she just intrigues me. She likes to do so many different things and can keep going and going and going all day. I think she'd go all night too if I'd let her. :) I do believe she'd outlast the Energizer Bunny!
Not that this has anything to do with this blog subject but I was just thinking about her friends and how much I like them: Ariella, Charly, Alana, the Ethan's, Dallas, Hannah. There are more but their names escape me at the moment. She even calls herself Alleira which is the backwards spelling for Ariella. I wish she could spend more time with them but with her busy schedule it's kind of hard. Thank goodness summer is coming so she can!

Some Days Are Just Like That

Today was a different kind of day. It started off with the typical kind of crazy morning before I dropped Em off at school. She was very excited about getting to have a friend who had never been to our house before over for a bit after school. She had set the whole thing up earlier in the week so it was a done deal and not a last minute thing. I am not a last minute thing kind of person. Em will attest to that. I was waiting in my usual place for Em to come out of school when I noticed her walking to the car alone. When she got to the car she told me that her friend decided to spend time with a different friend that afternoon. She looked so sad. You have to understand, Em doesn't have friends over very often so this was a big deal for her. I guess if they hadn't made plans earlier in the week it wouldn't have made me upset. Em being who she is told her she understood. My guess is that this friend's mom had no idea that her daughter was with this other girl and not Em. Or maybe she did know. The point is that it was just an outright mean thing to do. If I ever found out that Em pulled something like that she'd be in SO much trouble. We had fun anyway. We met Laura and Allison at Cup of Joe and Allison's boyfriend showed up too which made Em's day. After that she spent some time with her Aunt Janet playing Wii Sports and other Wii games. She had a great time. :) Thanks Aunt Janet. We love you!
To be continued...

Princeton here I come!

Em and I were talking this morning while she was getting ready for school. She wanted to know if UNI was a good school. I told her it was very good especially if you wanted to be a teacher or wanted to major in actuarial sciences like her sister is doing. I then told her that Allison chose it over Princeton even though Princeton called wanting her to come there. She was flabbergasted. She couldn't believe that Allison chose UNI over Princeton. After all, Princeton is kind of like Yale! (Her words.) WOW! Now Em wants to go to either Princeton or Yale when she graduates from high school in 2016. I told her that if she really wants to go to one of those schools then she needs to turn in all of her homework from now on and not keep it in her folder like she tends to do. I also told her she needs to buckle down and pay attention in school at ALL times not just when it interests her AND she has to strive to get A's in all of her classes. She's decided that from now on she can do all of the above. LOL. It's not that I doubt that she can do these things but her attention span at times is a bit sketchy. I applaud her for having the ambition to want to go to an Ivy league school. I will do what I can to help her achieve her goal but ultimately it is up to her to make it happen. I will be happy with whatever she chooses to do with her life as long as it is what she truly wants to do AND it makes her happy. I didn't find my true calling until I was 43 but I did find it! :)