A Difficult Couple of Months

Once in awhile things just seem to spiral out of control. I think it all started when we had to let Pepper go. That was difficult. A few days after that I started to have ear problems again then Em got a stomach virus and ear infection again. She missed 2 days of school which is difficult for her because she panics when she can't get her school work done when it's due.
I ended up getting a tube put in my left ear which was supposed to help the pain and the hearing loss. Well, the pain is better most of the time but the hearing loss is actually worse.
Then Mom's health started to decline. I guess I knew this day was coming but nothing can prepare a person for losing someone they love so very dearly. I spent as much time as I could with her for the 3 weeks before she passed away. I took Em to school early just so I could be with Mom before I went to work each morning. I'd go to work and then pick Em up from school, get her to wherever she needed to be or get her settled working on her homework and then head back up to the nursing home to spend a few more hours with her each night. Sometimes I'd get home before 10:00 and sometimes it would be midnight or later. I just didn't want to leave her. The next day I'd do the same thing. Sometimes my kids would come with me if I didn't stay too late at night. I loved spending time with my mom. At the same time, I felt guilty for not being home with Em. I know she understands why I needed to be with my mom but she still felt a little bit lost and scared. The night Mom passed away was both a blessing and one of the most difficult nights in my life. I was so happy for her. She was finally going to be with my dad and would be pain free and whole again. But, at the same time, I knew that I would never see her again in this earthly life. It took forever for my heart to begin healing after losing my dad suddenly nearly 4 years ago. I hate having to go through this again. I miss my mom so much. She has been my best friend as well as my mom ever since I can remember. She was a gentle, loving, non-judgmental angel. She was my angel. I don't know how many people knew this but my mom loved angels. She passed that love along to me. She also passed along her passion for being a mom. She was THE BEST mom. If I am half the mom that she was then I'll be happy. Mom, I know that you and Dad are happy being together again. I just miss you both. Sending my love to heaven.

A Very Difficult Day

This morning was an especially difficult morning for the girls and me. We had to take our dog, Pepper, to the vet to have him put to sleep. We've had Pep for nearly 17 years. Besides the fact that he had become deaf in recent years, he also had doggie dementia. Up until the moment he left us he was still smiling at us and giving us lots of love. I know that when some dogs get old they get cranky and unfriendly. Not Pepper. He was still as loving and spirited as he was when he was a puppy. Everyone that ever knew him loved him. I kid you not. That was how special he was. He LOVED everyone! He even loved our cats. :) I am going to miss him laying at the foot of my bed at night and keeping me warm. Every once in awhile he'd sneak up and lay right by me if it was storming. He was my companion when I couldn't sleep at night. I would sometimes get frustrated when he would follow me all over the house and he did that all the time. I've tripped over him more than once when I didn't realize he was under-foot. I know that he followed me because he just wanted to be close to me. He was my little sweetheart. Good-bye buddy. I love you.

Sometimes it just gets to me.

The past 2 days have been a little difficult. Em's tic disorder has been very pronounced and nearly constant in the evenings. I try to get her to concentrate on other things or stay busy because sometimes that helps. It hasn't been helping. I feel like such a bad mom but it really, really grinds on my nerves some days and today is one of those days. I know that most of the time it is involuntary and can't be helped but I still scold her sometimes. I even told her that if she didn't try to control it tonight she had to go upstairs where I didn't have to hear it. Right now she is watching a movie which may or may not help a bit. It is very unpredictable. This happens a couple times a year and usually lasts about 2 weeks or so then it gets better again. I am just afraid that if the kids at school hear this high pitched squeaking, they'll make fun of her. I know her true friends won't. They know about it. Will her new friends understand why she makes these noises? I just don't know.

So far, so good. :)

Em has been in school for a week and a half now and she loves it! If you've read my previous posts you know how nervous I was about her going to Junior High. She hasn't made many new friends yet but she is reconnecting with some "old" ones and that makes me feel so happy for her. She is trying her best to make the kids that feel a little left out a part of things, at least at lunch. She invites them to sit with her and her friends at lunch and tries to include them in the conversations.

She has come to realize that Junior High comes with a lot less social time during the day and a lot more homework at night. :) She doesn't seem to mind though.

I've been seeing less and less of her on the weekends and I miss her being here but I am so glad that she has such nice friends to spend time with.

Before school started she told me that she didn't want to do any school sports. Just today she mentioned to me that she thinks she'd like to try basketball. :) I told her she'd have to be at practice at 6:30 in the morning but she didn't seem to mind. This poses a bit of a problem with the medication she takes for her ADHD. The pill she takes in the morning lasts for about 8 hours or so which means there is no way it will last the whole school day. Not good. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I think she'll have to wait to play basketball until next year when practices and games will be after school. She has also showed an interest in track and that is after school so that just might be it for this year. It may not be fair but sometimes life isn't fair and she realizes this.

More to come as the year goes on. :)

Nervous Momma

As the school year approaches, I get more nervous by the day. It just seems like everything is topsy-turvy and no one knows where they'll be or what's going on. I've never been anxious or felt quite so unsettled before. I've worked at River Hills for 6 years already so you would think I wouldn't feel this way. From what I have heard many of the rooms employees are going to be shuffled around this year. What I don't understand is why? If things are going well in a classroom and things run like clockwork why would anyone want to shake that up? Don't get me wrong. I'll go wherever I'm needed. That has always been my attitude. I just feel like where I belong is where I've been for the past 6 years. The other associate in the room last year isn't going to be able to come back because of personal reasons so hopefully I can stay put. I will miss her very, very much but her family comes first and I understand that. I just hope they let me stay where I've been so it won't put too much stress on the teacher I work with. We are supposed to be able to go room to room and know just what to do but that isn't realistic. Every room does things differently or in a different order so it can be difficult to adjust to things. I've done it before when I floated for awhile but it wasn't easy. Enough about me. I'll be fine no matter where I'm assigned. I think a lot of my stress is due to Em's moving on to junior high more than it is about my job so....

Em's turn. Talk about nervous! She'll be at Holmes Jr. High in about a week and a half. I talked to her about the fact that it will be a lot different than elementary school and that there will be a lot more kids. And lets face it, they won't all be nice kids. She's has had her share of other girls being nasty to her and so far she has managed to ignore it for the most part. I'm just worried that things will escalate this year because there are so many more kids and they are older and their hormones are pretty much starting to go crazy at this age. Go figure...

Classes. They will be a lot harder too. Em is a very intelligent girl. I think she'll do alright for the most part. Homework will be a challenge though. She had a little bit of trouble keeping up with it for awhile last year about mid-year. Things turned around though and she ended up with really awesome grades. I guess I'll just have to stay on her about it like I did last year. If she really wants to go to Yale or Princeton (she dreams big :)) then she'll have to continue to do as well as she has.

Fitting in. Here's a biggie. Em is definitely her own person. She isn't interested in athletics which is OK. She's a dancer and dancing IS a sport no matter what people say. I just kind of wish she'd give volleyball a try just for the fun of it. She plans on doing anything and everything they have which involves music or theatre but there isn't a lot offered at this level in her education. She thinks chess club sounds fun but I don't even know if they have one. I talked to her about joining a math club but she's not too sure about that.

I know she'll be fine. I have to believe she'll be fine. Right?

Some things they just don't tell you.

I've come to the conclusion that there are some things doctors neglect to tell you when your child is on meds. for ADHD. I've learned the hard way that when the dose is decreased or your child is taken off the meds. that the side affects are not so much fun.

Em has been on her regular dose of the extended release med. as usual with a supplemental smaller dose to be given as needed later in the day if she has a dance class or something else going on that night. Well, she has been taking the supplemental dose everyday for most of the summer due to her theatre class. Yesterday and the day before were the first time for 2 days in a row that she hasn't had that 2nd dose. Needless to say, last night was the night from hell. She was so out of control that she couldn't calm herself down. She was moody, shaky, impulsive beyond her normal impulsive self, and downright crazy. This happened one other time over a year ago when her doctor wanted to see what would happen if we took her off her meds. for awhile too. The same thing happened only it was about 3 times worse. Thank goodness I had some of her meds. left over. She was off of them for a total of 3 days and was having panic attacks and was completely out of control. She cried for hours and begged to go back on her meds. She almost became violent which is NOT Emma. With the doctors consent I started her back on them. At least this time it was only her supplemental med. that I had her stop taking.

Today she is nice and calm so I know the "withdrawal" phase is over. I hate having her on meds. I really do. But, I know that if she doesn't take them she feels overwhelmed and can't get things done. She can't concentrate on one thing for more than a few minutes and is constantly on the move.

I can't even imagine how it feels to have your mind so out of control that nothing makes sense and you can't stop yourself from moving, moving, moving. She's tried to describe it to me but there really aren't words to describe it.

Em's level of ADHD is very significant. Put it this way--there are yes and no questions that you have to mark off about your child when they are first diagnosed. I had to answer yes to all of them but one. Yup. That's my girl. Her doctor has only seen a few other kids with this degree of ADHD.

No one really knows why ADHD has so many levels or what even causes it. They do know that it runs in families.

Em is going to have quite a few challenges ahead of her for a lot of years yet. Will it get better? Maybe. Will she eventually be able to go off of her meds. when she is older? Possibly. One can only hope. At least she doesn't see it as a disability. She sees it as a gift. It makes her more creative and intuitive which is cool.

She starts a new school in a few weeks. I hope they are as attune to her needs as her elementary school was. They had a sound system for her severe hearing loss which Holmes doesn't have so hopefully they will provide one so she can continue to do well.

I hope she continues to have her "can do" attitude. I truly believe that is why she does so well and doesn't let anything stand in her way. :)

Friends

Emma really has great friends. Today she and her friend Ariella sold lemonade outside of Arie's house. What fun! With Em's siblings being quite a bit older than she is sometimes it is hard for her to relate to them so she needs the interaction with kids her own age. We've had fun hanging around and doing things together this summer but a mom is not a friend or a sibling. I can't do some of the things that someone more her age can do. I am hoping that once she is in junior high this fall that she will get involved in school groups or clubs. Do they have a chess club at Holmes? That was her idea. Maybe she could start one. That would be cool. I know she'll be in all the plays and vocal music things. She has her sport which is dance but isn't interested in the sports they have at school. That's OK. I wasn't exactly looking forward to going to volleyball games at 7:00 in the morning. :)

I just found out today that one of her best friends will be going to Price Lab/NU High in the fall and not Holmes. It made me really sad but Em seems OK with it. I guess she has known for over a week but forgot to tell me. Another one of her good friends is going to be home schooled for most of his classes but will be at Holmes for advanced math so Em will get to see him for a little while everyday.

That has got to be hard for her to think about. These 2 friends are such nice young people and are good for Em. Both of them seem to be pretty level headed and keep Em grounded. I think Em will be fine though. She is so happy go lucky that she makes friends easily and even the "bullies" seem to respond to her and soften up. At least the ones that are boys. It's the girl's that are tough as nails and think making fun of kids is cool that I am worried about. I won't name any names. That wouldn't be right. I know she still has a few friends that are going to Holmes. Hannah N. and Charly W. to name 2 of them. Oh! Tiffany and Billie Ann too. They are sweeties. Always smiling.

Of course there will be the typical junior high drama. I've been through it 3 times already and my older 3 survived so I know Em will too!

My baby is 12!

It's July and the rain just keeps on coming! That hasn't stopped the craziness that is the Meier home.

Emma turned 12 on July 1st. Yup. My baby is 12. Scares me to death! It also makes me feel really, really OLD. That makes my kids 27, 24, 19 1/2, and 12. OK. I guess I am old. :)

I got a Zune for Em for her birthday. That's like an IPOD for those of you who wonder what the heck a Zune is. She really wanted one badly yet she hasn't gotten around to putting any music on it yet. She has been pretty busy though with trying to outdo both her sister and me on my new Wii, practicing piano, getting her reading in every day, and going to play practice every afternoon and evening. OH! I forgot to mention that she is in James and the Giant Peach at the end of July through the Sturgis Youth Theatre. This is the 4th summer that she has done this but she has been going to acting camps since she was 3. LOVES IT!

Em has had her eye on a chess set at World's Window for over a year now. It is absolutely beautiful with a marble playing surface. Needless to say it is not cheap. Pretty much every penny she gets or earns has been put aside for this chess set. Yesterday I took all of the money she received for her birthday plus some she had saved and added the gift certificate that one of her sisters and her brother gave her for downtown Cedar Falls businesses and purchased that chess set. She thinks I put it on hold for her at the store. I'm saving it for just the perfect moment to give it to her. I think I'll milk the helpfulness around the house for just a wee bit longer. :)

Weather, weather, and more weather!

It is hard to believe that it is almost July already. What is sad about this is that I can count on one hand the nice days we've had since school let out for Em on June 10th. As most of you know I took the summer off to spend time with Em before she gets too old to want to spend time with me. :) We had a lot of plans made and most of them involved the outdoors. The weather has put a damper on most of our plans so far. We were supposed to pick a destination and walk there each day no matter how far it was. We've only been able to do that twice. I can't blame the weather for this everyday though. We've had appointments and Em had the Boost program last week. We did have a great day on my birthday though. We left in the morning and didn't get home until about 5:00 p.m. or so. We shopped, saw my mom, went out to eat, did some more shopping, went to Cup of Joe and then had a great supper made by Allison. That following Weds. was another beautiful day but I spent it baking pies for my sons birthday and some cookies for him to take to work. Now I get to blame it on the weather for the rest of the change of plans. So many nights have been spent staying up until 4:00 in the morning monitoring the severity of the storms and making sure all was clear before I could go to sleep. It looks like it may be another long night tonight as well. I could just go to sleep and let my phone wake me up but I've been this way ever since I can remember. When I was little I HATED storms. My dad finally got me to go outside with him for a very short time to look at the clouds. He always made us stay in our cellar and he reassured me that we were very safe because it was a cellar and was underground. I'm not afraid of them anymore and have been known to storm watch on more than one occasion. My kids hate that! At least Em does. Em's fear of storms didn't start until after the Parkersburg/New Hartford tornado from 2 years ago. I don't blame her. So many lives lost and the damage was unbelievable. Then of course the July storm we had last year was pretty bad too. We lost one of our trees in the backyard which surprisingly did very little damage to our property. It fell between everything it could have hit. It did take out part of our swing set though. If there is even a hint of bad weather she brings all of her things down to the living room and camps out. Of course that means I do too. I can only pray that tonight isn't as bad as it seems it might be by looking at the radar and the storms that are likely to hit us that are on their way down from Minnesota. I need to call my niece and tell her to keep that crappy weather up there! There is some good news to celebrate---if the forecasters are correct then we will have beautiful weather pretty much all next week which means Em and I can start having our daily adventures as long as she is back for play practice by 3:30. Her 12th birthday is on July 1st so I am extremely happy that the weather is supposed to be nice. YAY! Have a super week one and all!!!

If truth be told...

Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half. ~Author Unknown

(Just to warn you---this is not my typical blogging. It is kind of a letter to everyone that I care about.)

The above quote is one of my favorites. I wish more people would think about what is told to them and by whom before believing what they hear. Sometimes I think we should all live our lives as if we have the mindset of a child. They seem to know what is true and what is not and they also tend to be totally honest when they give an opinion. They don't hold grudges and they are always, always willing to forgive.

I have learned so much from the kids I work with and my own kids about listening to every side of a story and trying not to pass judgement because sometimes it is impossible to figure out just what the truth is. Sometimes when a person voices an opinion on something that is all it is...an opinion.

Someone I care about lost her husband today in a terrible accident. I know this isn't exactly related to my blog subject but then again it kind of is. What I want to tell everyone is that life is too short to hold grudges and let hurt or hate rule your heart. Most of the time what is perceived as the truth is only a half truth or not true at all.

Please, please hold your family close and just love them. God gave them to you for a reason. And I don't just mean your immediate family. I mean anyone that is related to you in any way, shape or form.

There is one thing more that I need to say. If I have hurt anyone in any way I am truly sorry. If you really, truly know me then you know I would never intentionally hurt anyone. That isn't me. I am not perfect and I say things without thinking about how they might be perceived. I'm only human...

Big Dreams and Moving On

It is hard to believe that in 2 more days Em will no longer be in elementary school. It is exciting but scary at the same time. (She is excited and I am scared.) I know every mom feels this way when their "baby" grows up but somehow it seems more difficult for me to let her go than it was when her brother and sisters were her age. Dan and Laura went to St. Pat's through 8th grade and Allison went there through 6th grade so I guess their moving on seemed like less of a drastic step. Dan also went on to Columbus instead of the public schools. Em transferred to Lincoln when she was in 3rd grade. Hmm. Kind of weird. We switched the girls over to the public schools each at a different grade level. It gave them so many more opportunities than Dan had. It also exposed them to more cultures and religions which I think is a really good thing.
Em had a dance recital this past weekend. She did a wonderful job especially during the ballet dance she was in. I went both Saturday night and Sunday afternoon so I could watch her dance twice. She was so poised and graceful during the ballet number. It brought tears to my eyes. She did pretty well in the jazz number she was in too but I think she is destined to be a ballerina. :) She's been in ballet since she was 5 and she gets better and better each year. She wants to go on to be a toe dancer eventually but she has to be older so her feet have a chance to grow to their full length before she starts. I'm going to talk to Ms. Jackie about putting her in an additional ballet class so she can get more time to practice. She would love to dance with the company (and she does do company ballet) but I don't think her schedule and homework demands once she starts at Holmes this fall will allow it. It is a dream of hers to continue on in dance and the performing arts all the way through college and beyond. I love her dreams. <3

Yawn!

Hello everyone! Isn't it absolutely beautiful out this evening? I love days like this. It was a bit too warm for my taste earlier but it is perfect right now!
I can't believe that I only have 7 more days of school left. Em has 10. As much as I love where I work I am SO ready for a break (thus the YAWN as my blog title.) :)
I've been debating whether to ask Em's ear doctor if he will put another set of tubes in her ears. I think this would make it set number 7. I know she's almost 12 but she has had 4 or 5 infections since something like September and she has another one. This time it is in both ears. She can't seem to get a break! Of course this means absolutely no swimming at all for the summer or for that matter maybe forever. She is deaf in her left ear and we don't want to take the chance of her going deaf in her right one as well which could happen if she continues to battle these infections.
On a lighter note, she is growing like a weed! I had to buy her a new pair of ballet shoes and a new pair of jazz shoes so her toes wouldn't be squashed for her dance recital on June 5th and 6th. I think she is going to be all legs. :)
Not much happening to blog about tonight so I will say adios for now. Did I spell that correctly Jessie?

The 3rd times a charm? Not so much. :)

As many of you know I have a son and 3 daughters. You'd think I'd be better at shopping than I am by now. Today the girls and I went bra shopping. Obviously I didn't have to help the older 2. It's been quite a few years since I've done the whole "first time having an actual bra" thing for one of my girls. A LOT has changed in 7 1/2 years. Not only are there bras in every color and design you can imagine, but the bra makers have decided to try and make the tween population into women way too soon. Some of the bras we looked at were seriously sleazy. I kid you not. Why on earth does an 11 year old (OK, I know she is almost 12) need under-wires, padding, or push up features in a bra? I think we had to go through 50 different bras before we found a couple that were actually kind of made for a preteen. Maybe we just went to the wrong store. Who knows? Thank goodness we were successful in our quest.
Next problem: Finding a pair or two of jean shorts that has an actual waist and isn't made for a girl who has no shape. Emma is small. That's a given. BUT, she does actually have a smaller waist than hips so she is shaped like a girl should be and not like a pole. The solution would seem to be to buy her the jean shorts that have adjustable waists. Not so fast. The size 10/12's fit her in length but even pulling the sides in 5 slots on each side doesn't do the trick. It just makes her look like a puffy butt. So, we have to find a store that sells slims with adjustable waists. Even then they are made for a girl who has no waist. At least we only have to pull them in a notch or two and she doesn't look puffy. So far I have only found 2 stores that sell slim sizes in jean shorts. They are Kohl's and Old Navy. Sometimes I can't even find them there. Hopefully one of these days the creators of jeans and shorts will realize that women and preteen girls that are actually shaped like most women and preteens are will decide to one again have jeans that fit us. We have waists!! I find it very hard to find jeans for myself too. So do my other girls. We have smaller waists and bigger hips. YAY FOR US!!! :)

What a busy week!

Em has had quite a busy week! Actually we have BOTH had quite a busy week. Em normally has ballet for 2 hours on Monday nights, piano on Tuesday's, modern/jazz on Weds. afternoons, then religious ed Wed. evenings. This week she added another piano practice on Wed. before she went to modern/jazz class, and a fun Wii session with her Aunt Janet on Thursday night. Between all of her scheduled things she was constantly practicing for either her try-out for the variety show that her school is putting on or her piano pieces that she has to perform next Sunday for a recital. Oh! And don't forget the homework that she has made sure to get done and turned in ever since she has decided that she is going to either Princeton or Yale someday. :) Yesterday after school and into the evening she spent time with the friend that I had gotten upset with for ditching her the day before. I know, I know. It was silly of me to get upset especially since Emma really didn't. She loves her friends. That's just who she is. Today when she finally decided to grace me with her presence she decided that she'd start the day out with wanting chocolate and ice cream for breakfast (which she did NOT get--she settled for cereal and o.j.) and then cleaned her room a bit. Not sure why she decided to clean but I am NOT complaining about that. Back downstairs to practice for her piano recital then trying to sort out puzzle pieces from several different puzzles that somehow got mixed together. I am really glad that she had her day planned out because I was still a bit under the weather. Shortly after noon she decided it was a day to go fishing and then to Hartman Reserve to walk the trails. Her dad could barely keep up with her on the trails. She likes to hike quite quickly. After they got home she watched an episode or two of MacGyver then took her dad to see the movie, "Robin Hood", at College Square Theatres. That is where she is at right now. I'm really not sure why I decided to blog about her day. I think she just intrigues me. She likes to do so many different things and can keep going and going and going all day. I think she'd go all night too if I'd let her. :) I do believe she'd outlast the Energizer Bunny!
Not that this has anything to do with this blog subject but I was just thinking about her friends and how much I like them: Ariella, Charly, Alana, the Ethan's, Dallas, Hannah. There are more but their names escape me at the moment. She even calls herself Alleira which is the backwards spelling for Ariella. I wish she could spend more time with them but with her busy schedule it's kind of hard. Thank goodness summer is coming so she can!

Some Days Are Just Like That

Today was a different kind of day. It started off with the typical kind of crazy morning before I dropped Em off at school. She was very excited about getting to have a friend who had never been to our house before over for a bit after school. She had set the whole thing up earlier in the week so it was a done deal and not a last minute thing. I am not a last minute thing kind of person. Em will attest to that. I was waiting in my usual place for Em to come out of school when I noticed her walking to the car alone. When she got to the car she told me that her friend decided to spend time with a different friend that afternoon. She looked so sad. You have to understand, Em doesn't have friends over very often so this was a big deal for her. I guess if they hadn't made plans earlier in the week it wouldn't have made me upset. Em being who she is told her she understood. My guess is that this friend's mom had no idea that her daughter was with this other girl and not Em. Or maybe she did know. The point is that it was just an outright mean thing to do. If I ever found out that Em pulled something like that she'd be in SO much trouble. We had fun anyway. We met Laura and Allison at Cup of Joe and Allison's boyfriend showed up too which made Em's day. After that she spent some time with her Aunt Janet playing Wii Sports and other Wii games. She had a great time. :) Thanks Aunt Janet. We love you!
To be continued...

Princeton here I come!

Em and I were talking this morning while she was getting ready for school. She wanted to know if UNI was a good school. I told her it was very good especially if you wanted to be a teacher or wanted to major in actuarial sciences like her sister is doing. I then told her that Allison chose it over Princeton even though Princeton called wanting her to come there. She was flabbergasted. She couldn't believe that Allison chose UNI over Princeton. After all, Princeton is kind of like Yale! (Her words.) WOW! Now Em wants to go to either Princeton or Yale when she graduates from high school in 2016. I told her that if she really wants to go to one of those schools then she needs to turn in all of her homework from now on and not keep it in her folder like she tends to do. I also told her she needs to buckle down and pay attention in school at ALL times not just when it interests her AND she has to strive to get A's in all of her classes. She's decided that from now on she can do all of the above. LOL. It's not that I doubt that she can do these things but her attention span at times is a bit sketchy. I applaud her for having the ambition to want to go to an Ivy league school. I will do what I can to help her achieve her goal but ultimately it is up to her to make it happen. I will be happy with whatever she chooses to do with her life as long as it is what she truly wants to do AND it makes her happy. I didn't find my true calling until I was 43 but I did find it! :)

Hair predicament...should I or shouldn't I? Emma and her sisters.

I really get a kick out of my girls. Every Thursday at about 4:30 we go to Cup of Joe. That's our thing. Sometimes our friend Emi comes along too. I've come to the conclusion that I have the funniest girls in the entire universe. Today the discussion was on whether Allison should shave her head. Laura's idea of course. Allison's hair is past her waist. It is very thick and wavy and also very beautiful. She has never dyed it nor does she ever intend on dying it. It is an interesting mix of different blond colors and turns nearly white-blond when she is in the sun a lot. My vote is a big, fat NO!!! I am sure she'd look beautiful but NO WAY! Laura shaved her head over 3 years ago and she did look beautiful. I kid you not. She is one of those people that has a perfectly shaped head for baldness. My dad even thought she looked pretty. Laura also LOVES make-up and experiments with it a lot. Allison used to think make-up was the devil but will wear it every now and then. Laura is "artsy fartsy" in Allison words. Allison isn't that way. She is left brained while Laura is right brained. Emma is somewhere in between. Of course Em voted NO to Allison shaving her head but then she decided that maybe she herself should do it. That, of course, is another NO! Could any of you imagine Emma bald? With her caterpillar eye lashes she would probably look pretty darn cute but it will NOT happen. Oh the joys of having 3 very different but oh so fun-loving daughters! Daniel, my son, has his work cut out for him being the big brother to these 3. As far as I'm concerned, he is the best big brother and son anyone could ever wish for. :)

Just Wow

Drama, drama, drama. Why do people try to compete? My kid is smarter than your kid. My kid is popular and I am SO glad that she is! My kid is better at...well, you get the picture. Does it ever bother anyone else when some parents seem to think that their kids are perfect? Mine are far from perfect. I think that is what makes them the unique people that they are. I enjoy their quirky qualities and their different views on life. So Em has some special needs that she struggles with. You all know that. Yes, she struggles to keep her grades up in some classes but she is also gifted in a few areas. She's a dancer, an actor, a musician, and most importantly, she is a dreamer. She considers her ADHD as a gift that happens to be a part of her. It doesn't define who she is and neither does her tourette's or her hearing loss. Everyone has their struggles in life. We all break down from time to time. Em's "problems" may seem trivial to some of you but they aren't trivial to us. Yes, meds. DO help some of her ADHD symptoms but they make her tics worse. And nothing will ever bring back her hearing. She can't even go swimming for fear she'll get another ear infection in her good ear and need yet another set of tubes. She's had 6 sets already. She can't take the swimming unit at Holmes next year because if she does get an ear infection it could damage her good ear leading to more hearing loss in that ear. Em never lets any of this stuff bother her. She is stronger than her mom in this aspect. I worry about all of it. Maybe someday I can think of her disabilities as a gift too! I love you Em!

Crazy Day!

I've come to the realization that Monday's are going to be crazy! You would think I'd have come to this realization years ago. Emma is always hard to get up in the mornings. That is normal for her. If she has to do something extra like take a shower then I just try to get her up 20 minutes earlier than usual. This morning she was the chatterbox queen! I think she started talking the minute she got out of bed and talked, sang, and danced her way through the entire process of getting dressed, washing her hair, eating breakfast, and brushing her teeth. Man oh man! I love to listen to her chatter most of the time but when we are trying to get ready and out the door on time I literally have to tell her to STOP for a few minutes so she can concentrate on getting things done! I don't know about you but I can't figure out how to sing and brush my teeth at the same time. Em can do it! I had to laugh as she was getting out of the car as I dropped her off at school and she still hadn't stopped chatting long enough to take a breath! I did manage to get a, "Bye! I love you" from her as she exited the vehicle and before she continued on about this, that, and the other thing. :) When I picked her up after school she continued on as if she hadn't stopped talking all day which made me smile. It pretty much continued on at Cup of Joe and at Walgreen's. I wonder if she's talking her way through dance class??? :)

Have I Mentioned I Love My Job?

I've been working at River Hills for 6 years now. Every day is a new adventure for me. Not only do I get to work with kids who have severe and profound mental and physical issues, I also get to learn from them as well. These awesome kids have taught me to be patient beyond what I ever thought I was capable of. Every little thing they learn to do is a celebration of how far they have come. I've worked with kids that 3 years ago had behaviors nearly everyday and now they are so very gentle and loving that it makes my heart so happy. I've learned that using a gentle and soothing voice can work wonders and teaches them to be the same way. I've learned to "read" their faces to see what sort of day they are going to have when they aren't able to verbalize this to me because they literally are not able to communicate unless they have a Dynavox to talk for them. I still suck at sign language but I try my best. Sometimes I will forget to do something for the next day and the kids will remind me to do it! Funny thing is they can "read" me as well! It is so cool!
Now, if I can only learn to be as patient with Em as I am with these kids! I'm working on it. We are both a work in progress! I love you to the moon and back again Em.

ADHD really isn't all that bad...um, OK.

The day started out pretty well today. Em got ready quickly and without too many reminders. My day at work went great too! Love my job and the people that work at River Hills. Someone said something today that made my day even better. It made me smile pretty much all day. I wasn't sure that my blogging was making a difference to anyone else but me and I am so glad to know that it is.
I know so may people who are dealing with so much more than I am or that Em is right at the moment. My heart goes out to them. I thank God every single day that I have my little girl to hug and to hold even though we have our struggles to deal with. There are some days that make me crazy! I am not going to lie about that. I have sleepless nights wondering if Em will be OK down the road. She is easily influenced which is scary. I know that all I can do is keep trying to teach her right from wrong and just keep loving her for who she is: a fun-loving, talented and special NOT so little girl who has big dreams and a bigger heart.
It may seem silly to some of you that I feel just a bit over-whelmed at times...especially in the mornings. But seriously, most mornings are hard for both Emma and me. Neither of us are morning people. :) It is by the grace of God that we make it out the door on time and that we are both sane.
We are just going to keep taking it one day at a time. That's all anyone can do.

Sorting DVD's

A couple of years ago I decided to put all of my DVD's into a great big CD/DVD case so they didn't take up so much room in the closet. The problem with this system is that even though I tried to keep them in alphabetical order I had to redo them every time I bought a new DVD. So, yesterday I decided to put them all back in their original cases so I could visually see what I wanted to watch. We literally have 100's of DVD's. Thank goodness that Emma was around because she took over the task and worked for at least 3 hours getting them put back in their cases. We only came up with one missing DVD and where the heck it is I have no idea. I know it isn't in a wrong case because I checked them all before putting them away. Sigh. Oh well. It was one that only cost $5 so I guess I could always re-buy it if I want it. This task must have been really interesting for Em because she only took a couple of 5 minute breaks in 3 hours. It confuses the heck out of me how she can do something like this for 3 hours or sit and work on a puzzle for at least 3 hours even when she isn't on her meds. but otherwise she is quite a busy and extremely active pre-teen. Sitting down for more than a few minutes at a time is a challenge for her most early mornings and evenings. Kind of sounds like her mom in that way. I literally feel like I could crawl out of my skin some days if I am not constantly moving or doing something while I am at work. I love my job and thank goodness it gives me the option of moving around a lot! Hmm. Going to have to ponder this one. :)

A Crazy Week or Two or Three...

As many of you already know I suffer from migraines. They can get pretty intense. Needless to say, when Em's tourette's acts up, I need to find a quiet place away from the noise. Thankfully the past 2 days and nights have been migraine free because Em's tourette's has been a little more "active" for the past day or so. I wish I could figure out what triggers it. Stress can be a factor but not always. I do notice that when she is really concentrating on something such as putting together a 1500 piece puzzle she doesn't have any symptoms. Hmm.
Today Em told me that she really, really, REALLY wants to be in ALPHA next year when she goes to Holmes. She has all of these fantastic ideas for what her end of the year presentation will be if she gets in. Usually a teacher has to suggest you for the ALPHA program. I believe that Em has the intelligence and the talent to be in ALPHA. I just have to convince the programs director that she does. She has overcome a lot in her almost 12 years to be the person that she is. It took switching her to her current school in 3rd grade for her to realize that not all kids are cruel and mean and will taunt you because of something that you have no control over. I thank God for the teachers that she has had at Lincoln for helping Em to realize her full potential. She is one smart cookie!! I am proud of her. :)

Gotta Love 'Em

First and foremost I love my family and my friends. By family I mean my brothers, sisters, Mom, Dad, in-laws...you get the picture. I said this blog would be about advice that I really, truly do not need in order to raise my happy-go-lucky daughter. I know they mean well so I take everything that they say with a grain of salt. And, if truth be told, some of it is very good advice and I have used some of it now and then!
Hmm. OK. There are different degrees of ADD/ADHD. Em just happens to be at the very high end of the scale. Her mind doesn't work the same way as someone who doesn't have ADHD. She isn't able to sort all of the thoughts that are going around in her head at a million miles an hour out into separate thoughts. She's very impulsive and obviously distracted very easily so things don't hold her interest for long unless she is on her meds. Her meds. are a necessity for her. They help her be herself but controlled so she can concentrate on what she needs to concentrate on. She is very bright and has no problem keeping up in school. A lot of kids with ADHD are extremely intelligent. That is a definite positive. What I am trying to get at here is that Em needs her meds. Please don't tell me that she would be better off without them. She feels better with them. She wants to feel in control and she doesn't without them.
Em is very healthy and on track for her height and weight at this point. No, she isn't very tall but she isn't the shortest one at her school that is her age. YAY! I think she'll end up passing Allison in the height department. So, please don't tell me that she is too skinny. Her doctor has been monitoring her height and weight regularly and we are both pleased at where she's at. She looks great!
As most of you know I had a hard time deciding whether to work summer school this coming summer. I didn't want to leave Em alone for 6-7 hours everyday but I didn't want to send her to a day care either. My other 3 children always had each other to rely on during the summers. I know that she probably would have done OK but who at 12 years old wants to be by themselves all day, everyday? And like I said earlier, kids with ADHD are impulsive and a lot of times will act before they think so I am taking the safe route on this matter. I thank my friend Jill for "making me see the light." I'm not exactly sure how she put it but it went something like this: When you're older will you regret not working summer school or will you regret not spending time with Emma when she is still young? No brainer. I want to spend time with my daughter. She's fun! Yes, I realize I could be making extra money but money isn't happiness. Money is money. Emma is happiness. I can't wait for summer! Adventureland, here we come!
To those of you who offer your advice.... I love you but if I want your advice I will ask for it. And I DO ask for it sometimes. If you still feel you need to offer it that's OK. I won't get angry or hold it against you. But beware, I may not follow it. <3

A little bit about our family

Before I actually talk about our family, I should probably let all of you know that there are different forms of tourettes. Emma doesn't swear or shout out at odd times. She doesn't bark either. I've actually seen that. Em's takes the form of a very high pitched squealing which can go on for minutes or hours. Fortunately it has lessened and it doesn't last long now. She also has a couple of tics that are very subtle so people tend not to notice them. I will probably focus more on her ADHD than the tourettes anyway.
I've decided that you may want to know about our family. Guess I'll start with Emma. She likes to be called Emmy for some reason. I've called her this for a few years. She actually has a few nicknames: Emmy, Em, and Emster are the main ones. Em is 11 years old going on about 16. She plays piano, is a ballet and jazz dancer, and also is involved in the theatre. She loves school and has a few good friends who accept her for who she is. She has a huge heart and will not tolerate anyone being mean to anyone else. She tends to stand up for others even if it means she'll be treated badly. That's just Em.
Allison is next. She is 19 and a sophomore at UNI. She is majoring in mathematics and actuarial science. I am NOT a math person at all so this amazes me. As I tell most people, she is scary smart.
Laura is 24 and is a junior at UNI I think. I say this because she already has a degree in media arts and animation from the Art Institute and decided to go back to school and pursue her Bachelor of Fine Arts degree. She is married to Josh. He's a great guy.
Daniel is 26, almost 27, and he is an assistant librarian at Cedar Falls Public Library. If I want to know anything about homeopathic stuff I ask him.
Mark is Em's dad and my husband. He works at Cedar Falls Utilities and has for many years.
Then there is me. I'm just me. I already talked about myself in my first blog so I won't bore you again. :)
I guess I should also mention that we have a dog and 3 cats. I know. We're crazy.
I plan on keeping my blogs kind of short so I can blog more often. I think the next one may deal with family and friends who really need to learn more about ADHD and not try to give advice when they know nothing about it at all. Of course I know they mean well but until you've walked a mile in my shoes (or spent a week dealing with a child who has it) please keep your thoughts and advice to a minimum. Thanks!

And so it begins...

I am completely new to the adventure of blogging. I guess it can be theraputic. A friend suggested I start blogging to help relieve the everyday stress of having a child with ADHD and Tourettes Syndrome or as the doctors like to call it a "Tick Disorder." For some reason they don't like to call it tourettes because it labels the person that has it.
Emma was diagnosed with ADHD when she was 7 years old. Of course I knew she had it by the time she was 3. It took 4 years before anyone would believe me. I can't really blame them. When she was 3 we found out that Em was deaf in her left ear. The doctors attributed her hyperness and lack of focus and control on that. I forgive them.
Those of you who have a child with ADHD understand the daily struggle of actually getting them to cooperate in the morning BEFORE the meds. kick in. She really does try to listen and focus but it is so difficult for her. Of course then I turn into a "grumpasaurus" as Em puts it. I can't believe that we actually get out of the house on time in the mornings. Bribery can work wonders. Donuts are a great bribe. Yes, I do resort to bribery some mornings. Other mornings I pray like crazy!
Em is in 6th grade and through the grace of God is doing very well in school. She loves it. She is actually in the highest math class and gets to skip 7th grade math next year and go straight into pre-algebra. That's pretty cool. I worry about her going to junior high next year. She is really excited about it but I just hope she isn't overwhelmed by it all.
I work at River Hills School which is a school for severe and profound mentally/physically handicapped children and young adults. I work with kids that can range in age from 13-21. I love my job and the kids too.
I think I'll quit for tonight. :)