A Difficult Couple of Months

Once in awhile things just seem to spiral out of control. I think it all started when we had to let Pepper go. That was difficult. A few days after that I started to have ear problems again then Em got a stomach virus and ear infection again. She missed 2 days of school which is difficult for her because she panics when she can't get her school work done when it's due.
I ended up getting a tube put in my left ear which was supposed to help the pain and the hearing loss. Well, the pain is better most of the time but the hearing loss is actually worse.
Then Mom's health started to decline. I guess I knew this day was coming but nothing can prepare a person for losing someone they love so very dearly. I spent as much time as I could with her for the 3 weeks before she passed away. I took Em to school early just so I could be with Mom before I went to work each morning. I'd go to work and then pick Em up from school, get her to wherever she needed to be or get her settled working on her homework and then head back up to the nursing home to spend a few more hours with her each night. Sometimes I'd get home before 10:00 and sometimes it would be midnight or later. I just didn't want to leave her. The next day I'd do the same thing. Sometimes my kids would come with me if I didn't stay too late at night. I loved spending time with my mom. At the same time, I felt guilty for not being home with Em. I know she understands why I needed to be with my mom but she still felt a little bit lost and scared. The night Mom passed away was both a blessing and one of the most difficult nights in my life. I was so happy for her. She was finally going to be with my dad and would be pain free and whole again. But, at the same time, I knew that I would never see her again in this earthly life. It took forever for my heart to begin healing after losing my dad suddenly nearly 4 years ago. I hate having to go through this again. I miss my mom so much. She has been my best friend as well as my mom ever since I can remember. She was a gentle, loving, non-judgmental angel. She was my angel. I don't know how many people knew this but my mom loved angels. She passed that love along to me. She also passed along her passion for being a mom. She was THE BEST mom. If I am half the mom that she was then I'll be happy. Mom, I know that you and Dad are happy being together again. I just miss you both. Sending my love to heaven.